Finding the "Yes" in life and business

If you’ve been exposed to improv, you’ve probably heard of, or experienced this thing called “Yes, and….”  It’s the core skill of improv. 

Here’s the smallest of nutshells if this is new to you:  As improvisers, our task is to create with our partner(s) seamlessly and fluidly in the moment.  We do this by accepting everything our partner says or does in the scene we’re creating.  The “yes” is accepting what they give us.  The “and” is building on it and moving the scene forward.  This is an amazing tool to create in-the-moment.  Everyone feels equal, supported, and great things get created.

So how does this skill/practice live in the “real world?”  How can you “yes, and…” someone when you know that the answer is “no?”

Step one is that you have to want to.  You can’t be looking for a “technique” to placate them, or to let them down easily.  You have to want to hear them, to understand them, to work with them.  You’re looking for a win/win.

I remember a few years ago we were painting our living room.  I had found an amazing faux-finish idea that I wanted to use.  This deep, rich, textured red.  It was incredible.  Best idea ever!  And my wife had found this sort of Tuscan yellow.  We each said our idea.  And we began to lobby for our own ideas.  Then we stopped and took a collective breath.

“You like the yellow,” I said, taking in her choice.

“Hmmm….  You like the faux-finish red,” she said, taking in my idea.

And we sat there.  We sat in our difference, taking it all in.

That was the “yes”.  Acknowledging our partner’s choice/desire.  In life, the “yes” is often acknowledging someone’s experience, emotion, or desire.  You’re not literally saying “yes” to it, but you’re acknowledging it.  I didn’t say “Yes, let’s use your color,” because that wasn’t true for me.  But I did say “yes, that’s what you want.  I can see your desire.”

So we sat there looking at our 2 choices.  Still not lobbying for our own, just staying open and feeling our partner’s desire.  As we looked at the 2 colors, it began to occur to us that they went really well together.  They complimented each other really nicely.

End of story?  2 walls were Tuscan Yellow, 2 walls were faux-finish red.  It looked great!  WAY better than either one would have looked. THAT was the “yes, and….” that we found by staying open and starting with the “yes”.

Always look for the “yes.”  There’s always something you can “yes.”  The “and” might be tougher, but if you start with a “yes” everything will be smoother, and you just might find that creative solution that no one thought of.

Your body is your mind is your body is your mind is your......

I strongly subscribe to the idea that not only does your body language effect how others perceive you, but more importantly, your body language effects who you are in that moment.  Chemically, emotionally, and so on.  (If you don’t know the work of Amy Cuddy, watch her TED Talk.)

I want to give you a super-simple Applied Improv exercise to play with this idea, and see how it lands for you.  I’ll take a very basic improv exercise called word-at-a-time-story, and then build on it to play with this idea that how you hold your body changes who you are.

Here’s the first step:  Find someone to play with.  Together you tell a story, alternating back and forth, each of you only gets one word at a time.
Get a running start with “Once – there – was – a - _______ etc.”  Make sense?  You tell the story one word at a time.  Have fun.  Don’t worry about telling a “good” story.  This  is more about process.
Do this a few times.

Now, stand opposite your partner, cross your arms on your chest.  Lock your knees.  Weight back on your heels.  Focus on their top button instead of making eye contact.  Keep your jaw tight.
Do the exercise like this a couple of times.

Shake that one off.  Now stand in front of your partner.  Weight forward on your feet.  Arms relaxed and open.  Jaw relaxed.  Easy eye contact.
Now do the exercise a few times this way.

Try the other way again.

How did the two ways feel different?

How did you perceive your partner?

How did you perceive yourself?

How was your attitude different each way?

How easy or difficult was the “task” the two different ways?

When did you feel more engaged?

Assuming you noticed a difference, all you had to do to create that difference was change how you held your body.  In this world of things that aren’t in your control, the way you hold your body is in your control.

How might this be useful?  Where might it be useful?  What would you like to try?

Enjoy!

Fail like Kobe Bryant!

OK, I’m not a real “sports –guy” by any stretch.  But I know the big names and I love the NBA when it comes to the finals, so I know Kobe Bryant.And I am an improviser, and I work with Applied Improv, and I see through those eyes.
So it caught my eye when I read that Kobe Bryant had just broken the record for the most 3-point misses in regular NBA season.  That’s a lot of misses.  A lot of “failures.” Here’s what Kobe said about it:

"You've got to step up and play, man, you can't worry about criticism. You can't worry about failure. You really can't worry about that stuff. You've got to go out and figure that out and play and do the best you can, and whatever happens, happens. You can't be held captive by the fear of failure or the fear of what people may say."

In performing improv, there are no failures or mistakes.  Everyone’s job is to make your choices look brilliant.  And you, theirs.
Taken to the business world, these skills and trust are invaluable.  There are countless quotes about embracing failure.  The trick is to take inspiring quotes about failure, and actually live them.  To really be willing to fail.
Like Kobe.  Arguably one of the top players in the NBA.  Failing right and left.

Maybe our new tag-line should be “Fail like Kobe.”

If you want to Fail Like Kobe (and rise to the top), you might just give Applied Improv a shot.

It’s fun.
It’s deep.
It works!

"Improv training" on your resume? Yep!

In the current business environment a whole new set of skills is rising to the top.  Everyone knows this.  Change is happening faster, growth is exponential, and so on.  It’s not so much about what you know, but how you are. Can you collaborate?  Can you work within a team.?  Can you build a team?  Can you inspire?  Do you listen?  Can you foster creativity?  Can you deal with change?

Supposedly one time when Steve Jobs was asked his greatest accomplishment, he said that he had put together teams that could collaborate.

You may take issue with the nuts and bolts of my premise, but generally you know what I’m talking about.  Right?  Are we good?  Same page?  Common ground?  Other metaphor of agreement?
From a Harvard Business Review article on skills needed to thrive in the C-Suite, here are some skills/traits listed:

~Non authoritative leadership

~Inspirational leadership

~Team and Relationship building

            “…he/she cannot succeed as a brilliant one-person player.”

~The power of persuasion and excellent presentation skills

            “…mental deftness and stylistic versatility.”

~Change management

“…less to do with driving drastic firm-wide change than with being at ease with constant flux.”

These are not cognitive skills.  These come from a way of  being and are learned through practice.

Improv is showing up in more and more business schools here in the US and internationally.  I teach improv in the Executive MBA program at University of San Francisco.  It’s in Harvard, Duke, UCLA, Carnegie Mellon, MIT Sloan, Columbia, and so on.

The reason improv is showing up is that it addresses these new key skills.

Improv is a skill-set that makes it possible to create in-the-moment with other people.  When done skillfully, the story, song, play, or skit unfolds so seamlessly that it seems rehearsed. How do we do this, and how is it relevant to the new business skills?

Here’s what we do on stage, and imagine this in a business context:

~We focus on making our partner look really competent.

~We listen for where we can agree and connect.

~We put our egos on the shelf and focus on the thing we’re creating.

~We’re able do defer judgment/evaluation in order to explore and follow ideas.

~We have absolute trust that our fellow players have our backs.  Because they do.

Right now, there are a ton of newly minted MBA’s who have had this training.  A huge percentage of them found great value, and are leading in this way—with these skills and values. 

As they rise up the ranks, they’ll be looking to hire people with these skills.  And “Improv Training” on your resume might just be the way in the door.

Try it!

Improv in Silicon Valley

If you live in or near the Valley (or have heard of it) you’ve probably heard the Improv word tossed around.  Or maybe not.  But improv is vibrantly alive there.

For the past 15 years I’ve been bringing the power of improv to companies in the Valley and beyond.

If you’ve never experienced or seen Applied Improv, it’s different that what you think.

When most people think of improv they think of Whose Line Is It Anyway.  Very funny and fast.  Comedy.  So often the assumption is that it’s about being fast  and thinking on your feet.  And that is part of it.  The thinking on your feet part.  But only a small part.

We improvisers have a very interesting challenge: with absolutely no planning, we get to walk on stage with fellow improvisers and in the moment, create a story, or a play, or a scene, or a song.  And when we do it well, it seems scripted because it flows so effortlessly.

So why is this particular skill of  interest in the Valley?

I’d say 3 main reasons.

1)   It’s HIGHLY generative and creative.  You generally come up with things that you never would have found as individuals.  Great for innovation.

2)   It builds trust and connection.  You KNOW that everyone else has your back, and together you’re in service of the bigger picture.

3)   Everyone feels valued, competent, heard, and an integral part of the system.

There’s still a perception that improv is a fun, fluffy way to have a good time as a team.  And it is.  AND….  It’s WAY more than that.

Try it.

You’ll value it.

What makes Applied Improv so cool?

Yea, what IS it?

Let’s start with improv.  What’s this thing called “improv?”

At its core, improv is a communication skill-set.  It’s a skill-set that allows improvisers to walk on stage, and with NO pre-planning, create seamlessly and fluidly a story, song, play, or whatever, in-the-moment.  And not alone.  They co-create this with another person.  Creating seamlessly and fluidly in-the-moment with another person.  That’s improv.  It may be funny or serious, but it’s co-created with no planning.

How do they do this?  They listen.  They stay open and connected.  They build on whatever shows up in order to move the scene/story/song forward.

In order to do this, we practice certain skills.  These are the principles or tenets of improv.  Here are some of them:

~Listen in order to receive

~Build on what you receive

~Defer judgment/evaluation

~Make your partner look brilliant

~Stay open and present.

~Remember to close your mouth (see #1)

We improvisers practice this.  A lot.  And over time it changes who we are.  Not just what we do on stage, but who we are.  We begin to see more opportunities and not problems.  We become more inclusive and connective.  We know that there’s a “yes” that wants to be found.

And what is this “applied” business?

The “applied” part of Applied Improv is where we take these skills and apply them to other areas.  Like business.  We apply these skills to increase creativity.  Or give more compelling presentations.  Or lead in a manner that colleagues and reports feel valued, competent, and included.  Or create a culture of equality.  Lots of applications.

We begin with participants doing a bunch of improv exercises followed by focused debriefs.  This is where they practice these valuable skills in the “disposable” world of improv.  And like I said, it begins to change who they are. 

Then, through scenarios and role plays, we ground the new skills in the relevant area—meetings, or giving feedback, or presenting.

So the “coolness” is two-fold.

It’s really fun.

Because it’s so experiential, it actually sticks and works!

Try it.  You’ll like it.